On Wednesday, Tina and I paid a visit to the ObGyn doctor for a regular baby check. We arrived promptly and 9:30 and we soon found ourselves in the examining room talking with the doctor. Soon he whipped out the Mini-Dopp and we got to hear the "whoosh whoosh" of our baby's heartbeat. Tina said, "It's much stronger than it was last time!"

After this briefest of examinations (blood tests are scheduled for Monday), we got to the customary question and answer period of the visit. After a few minor discussions, Tina mentioned to the doctor that she was having back trouble that was extending to her neck and was causing headaches and sometimes shooting pains in her leg. We suspect that she hurt it (her back) in the minor canoeing accident we had during our visit to the Homeland (Iowa). Anyway, the doctor explained about the additional stress that was being put on her spine and joked that it would be better if breasts were on the back and not on the chest. Then he went on to explain that x-rays were definitely a no-no during pregnancy, but that if the pain in her leg evolved into numbness, we would have to figure out some way to take some limited x-rays.

At this point, I find it necessary to tell you about the previous day. While at work, I enjoyed a McDonald's Super Value Meal (super-sized!) featuring the burger of the month. It was quite delicious and I finished eating at approximately 3:00 PM. I finished work that afternoon, went home quite tired and ending up going to bed before I had a chance to get hungry again. When I woke up the following morning at about 6:30, I futzed around on my computer for several hours in anticipation of the impending doctor's appointment. As is my custom in the morning, I skipped breakfast due to a lack of appetite.

Back to the doctor's office. The doctor continued to explain the various intricacies of spinal problems during pregnancy while I thought about the implications of what he had said. It was apparent that it could come down to two choices: paralyzed wife or deformed baby. I kept thinking that as the doctor droned on: "Paralyzed wife or deformed baby. Paralyzed wife or deformed baby. Paralyzed wife or deformed baby." Soon I began to feel a somewhat warm feeling in the back of my head. Shaking it off, I attempted to follow along with the conversation. Oops. There it was again. Recognizing the feeling this time, I took a seat on the stool that sat at the foot of the examining table. The conversation continued oblivious to my quickly degrading condition. As the feeling began to overwhelm me, I leaned forward and placed my hand on Tina's knee (she was sitting on the end of the examining table) and said, "Suddenly I feel faint."

She reported that the doctor then said, "Then lay down on the floor!" Alas, it was too late because I was already headed to the floor having completely passed out. After a full-length dream (that I'm told lasted all of five seconds), I awoke very confused in a semi-crawl, face down on the floor with a worried doctor, nurse and wife all looking down at me. After several seconds of figuring out what had happened, I groaned in remembrance of the many times I had fainted as a child. I asked if I could lie down on the examining table for awhile. The doctor replied, "Take as long as you like."

After several minutes, I recovered enough to stumble out of the office and into the car for Tina to drive me home. It remains to be seen if the entire episode was caused by my lack of nutritional intake, the stress of contemplating those two awful choices or a combination of the two. Needless to say, I ate upon arrival at home and stayed home several hours before going to work. No repeat episodes have occurred but I'm not holding my breath either. That could be disastrous.

Oh! The baby is fine and growing at a normal rate. Revelation of sex will occur in about a month.