Company Picnic

Last Saturday, Tina and I had a wonderful and terrible time at the Indus Portland Company Picnic...

Although I felt that this year's outing was going to be a flop, it turned out to be fun. My doubts arose from the fact that HQ determined that it would be best for all offices to have their picnics on the same day. Because of this and the fact that there was a month's notice, I expected attendance to be low. Last year, the Portland office was allowed to choose its own date and did so by majority vote. Thus, attendance was much better.

Despite the limitations imposed by HQ, there was a %50 turnout, which is probably not too bad. The shindig was held at Kelly Point Park and catered by Buster's Barbeque and featured ribs and chicken as well as the normal BBQ sides. The park is located where the Columbia and Willamette rivers meet. The food was excellent and enjoyed by all (I feel like I'm writing an article for the Riceville Recorder).

After eating (which we did almost immediately after arrival was completed), we all meandered down to the beach area that was adjacent to Area F (our slice of the park). The kids played in the water while the adults sat on the beach and talked. A small waterfight was held, but few innocents were involved. Watching the big ships go up and down the Columbia was pretty cool.

Eventually, we all made our way up to the picnic area again for some more pleasant conversation and the eventual migration to the parking lot and home. Somewhere around six o'clock is when Tina and I embarked on this journey.

So, with cooler, chicken, ribs and sauce in tow, we walked the half mile to the parking lot. Upon arrival, I opened up the trunk and loaded the leftovers and picnicing equipment. Closing the trunk, I headed towards the driver's side door to unlock the car. Simultaneously, Tina walked towards the passenger side door. A quick glance at the passenger side back seat floor confused me momentarily. Tina, however, cleared up the confusion when she said, "Both the doors on my side are unlocked!" Another look and a quick search of the car verified that the car had been broken into. Missing: our brand new portable CD player, which had been underneath the driver's side seat, and my PowerBook Duo 210, which had been lying upside down on the floor behind the passenger seat.

After a brief walk around the parking lot to collect myself and attempt to rid myself of the sick feeling that permeated my being, we discovered that two other cars in the lot had been victimized, as well. One had evidently suffered little loss and left before the cops arrived. The other, a very nice, new, black sports car, had the passenger side window broken and was missing a cellular phone, a stereo and a CD changer in the trunk.

The police were called on a co-workers cell phone. Upon his (a single uniform) arrival, two so-called witnesses (who had not been burgled) attempted to describe the situation to him, which quickly confused him. They were quite forceful in their attempt to control the situation, so I let them go on until he got tired of it and indicated his confusion. Aside from the basic facts that I've already mentioned, here is my assessment:

a) The Prankster. Shortly after discovering the breakin, some guy asked us if we had been broken into. We answered affirmatively and he went on to describe how he had seen some guys "acting funny" and had written down their license plate number. I got this from him as well as a brief description of the comedy troupe in question. I also noted that this guy was acting extremely agitated, exhibited poor grooming skills and kept telling us that we should tell the cops that "they were waving a gun around" in order to facillitate capture.

b) The False Witnesses. This couple also exhibited poor grooming habits, dressed poorly, had bad teeth and liked to run off on tangents every chance they had (the actions of Fred Meyers strikers come to mind). They nabbed the cop as soon as he arrived and proceeded to describe the situation to him in a torrent of descriptions and opinions on what they had seen, which was nothing. They complicated the situation most in telling the officer about The Prankster (a name that Mr. FW gave him), who they felt was less than reliable as a witness. After they finished their descriptions, they left and we all breathed a sigh of relief.

c) The Note. The owner of the black sports car found a note on the passenger seat that said, "I saw who broke into your car. They were [insert description here]. They drove a [car description]. Their license plate number is [XXX 999]. My phone number is [555 1212]." I noted that the note was probably written by a woman (nice handwriting) and that the Prankster was unaware of its existance.

d) The CD case. We brought along one CD to listen to (Matthew Sweet/Girlfriend - an excellent album). The CD itself was in the CD player, of course, but the jewel box was sitting on the console leaning against the brake. After looking at it several times (post-break-in), I realized that it was now leaning the opposite way I had left it.

I relayed all of these facts to the officer as well as the sequence of events of the afternoon (arrival time, time of discovery, etc.). I indicated what had been stolen and gave him the jewel box to be used for fingerprinting. He seemed to have a good grasp of the situation after speaking to us and to the black sports car people. The other victim left before he could speak with them.

Later, he called us at home to get serial numbers for the missing items, which I gave to him. I also added that my Powerbook had recently been dropped (ouch!) and no longer shut correctly because the latch had broken off. He thanked me and told me that the license plate that the Prankster had reported was from a stolen car.

Yesterday was post-theft day. I called all the pawn shops in the phone book (there is less than 15 listed, a very mysterious situation) and asked, "Do you have laptop computers?"--to no avail. We also retrieved the necessary papers from the insurance company, filled them out and returned them with all supporting documents. Here is the current situation:

a) No word from the PD. My opinion is that, even if they catch the guys, the goods are long gone.

b) The insurance lady seems to be one of us in this "us against them" situation with State Farm.

c) She is going to try to get the CD player declared as part of the car so it will be covered by the car insurance, which has a $100 deductible. We also get to have our car locks fixed (which were broken long ago on previous break-ins).

d) The Duo should be covered by our homeowner's policy. If it is, chances are that I will be getting a much better computer than I had. The quote that we submitted was the cheapest we could find as includes a dock, internal modem, larger hard drive and faster CPU. I am very happy now that my computer is/was obsolete.

e) None of this insurance stuff has been approved. In the meantime, we regressed back to cassettes in the car and I am using Tina's computer (she's such a beautiful person) until I get a replacement.

f) I have been spending a great deal of time scheming ways to catch these crooks and punish them. My favorite scenario involves leaving a poisoned candy bar sitting next to some electronic goody...