Tag: parenting

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Why Do I Let Myself Worry

It’s been a hard week for Thomas and a hard week for Tina and me. On Monday, I received an email from his Advanced Literacy teacher saying that he had fallen behind in his homework again:

Here is what he is missing:
Greek Gods Packet (in folder)
Greek Gods Note sheet (from book)
Nature Myths Note sheet (from book)
Cupid and Psyche Summary
Cupid and Psyche Analysis
Packet #1 East
Packet #2 East
WORKING ON TO TURN IN TUESDAY
Packet #3 East

To say we were surprised would be a vast understatement. We ask him nearly every day if he has homework and he never gave us the impression that he was behind. This is not the first time this has happened, though, as we have continued to struggle with him to keep up on his homework. This particular class has been the main thorn in his side so I guess it shouldn’t have been a surprise, but it was. After we got the email, we informed Thomas that he would not be able to attend a Scouting function this weekend unless he caught up on his homework. He agreed to this and worked out a plan to do enough homework each night so that he would have it all done by Friday morning.
Continue reading “Why Do I Let Myself Worry”

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More than a million roses bloom

Thomas’ term came to an end on Friday and he still had unfinished homework. Homework has been an ongoing concern all year and the frustration level for everyone involved is high. We’ve been working on getting him organized and learning to break big projects into smaller chunks, but he still becomes overwhelmed and fails to factor in his busy schedule. He was originally scheduled to join his Boy Scout troop on a campout this weekend but we made him stay home and finish this project that had been due on Friday. He was lucky that his teacher allowed him until Monday morning to finish it before she submitted his final grade. Still, it’s been a struggle all weekend to keep him focused on the task and he’s still working on it even now. A few weeks ago we addressed these issues with him and his teachers during conferences and he said he had a good plan going forward. Since that plan has failed it’s time for our plan. More on this as it develops.

Aside from that, it’s been a very nice weekend here. The sun has been out and we even left our windows open last night. We spent this morning doing some yard work and then we let the kittens out but not for very long. It’s too hard tracking all three at the same time!

Thanks to Kathy Sue, we also have been enjoying a Starz Preview Weekend on DirecTV. My Tivo is overflowing with movies now and I’ve made most of them green (“Keep Until I Delete”) so we’ll need to watch some movies this week. We’ve already watched several including a really scary one with Luke Wilson called Vacancy. Tina kept squeezing my fingers when we were watching it and then claiming that I was squeezing hers!

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Wrap me in your cinnamon

Thomas had a cold a few weeks back and we thought that the congestion was affecting his voice. The cold is long gone now and his voice is still deeper than it was before. After hearing a good review of it online, I bought What’s Going On Down There for Thomas. When I handed it to him, he took it wordlessly back to his room and set it on top of My Body, My Self for Boys, a book that Tina bought for him earlier. He has no interest in discussing or reading either right now. He’s had a difficult time adjusting to the rigors of middle school this year, especially the demanding homework obligations. He has a difficult time sitting still long enough to “get into” the work and is easily distracted. Once he gets started, though, he whizzes right through it. He’s also had some problems with organization, often not knowing (or claiming to not know) about assignments. We’re helping him with the latter problem by using some techniques suggested by his teachers and my friend, Amy Sunleaf, who helps kids like him in her profession.

The concentration/distraction problems are something that he has inherited from me, I’m afraid. After watching him go through this, I was reminded of sitting in the Wartburg library years ago trying to “buckle down” and do my Calculus homework. Even now I often find it difficult to read the lengthy technical documentation that is required in my profession. This week I was tasked with reviewing user documentation for our product and had to make a great effort not to get distracted. Once I overcome that hurdle, I can really tear through my current objective, but sometimes it seems nearly impossible. I feel for Thomas in this.

Despite those frustrations, the new job is going very well. I miss certain aspects of working at CPS but I’m trying to figure out how to change my life around to get them back. For example, I miss the hour of reading that I used to have during my commute but I really like my short 20 minute drive to work now. I’ve been thinking about setting aside an hour every night for reading, but the Tivo talks me out of it every night. I also miss riding my bike but I’m going to join a nearby gym so I can start riding again (there is no shower in our office building). Luckily, EFI has a gym reimbursement benefit.

I definitely need to get back on my bike because I’m losing the battle of the bulge again, as you may have already noticed from recent Vital Statistics entries. During 2006 and 2007 I lost over 60 pounds but in the last six months I’ve gained all but 15 back. I continue to learn more about myself during this time and still think I can get where I want to be, but it’s going to take a long time.

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More days to come, new places to go

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted family news here mostly because I do that on Twitter several times a day. For more on that, you can read this and then join here. It’s free and easy and you’ll like it. I promise.

And now, the news:

  • Since the end of October, we’ve been mad for Guitar Hero III. Although playing the game is a blast, equally cool is watching my boys groove and sing to some of my favorite bands. Right now they both like “Even Flow” and “Holiday in Cambodia“. Thomas is the house champion in career mode, but we still only have one guitar so we haven’t settled on a true champion.
  • Thomas’ video game time has been limited, though, due to poor scholastic performance in the first half of this semester. He has been having problems getting his homework done and is easily distracted when he’s supposed to be doing homework. We suspended gaming privileges until he got his grades back up and his computer has been disconnected from the internet. With Tina’s help he’s been able to get his grades up closer to where they should be but he’s still got a lot to learn about managing his time.
  • Graham had a chess tournament yesterday in which he recorded two draws and a win for his team. He’s also become a pretty good Medium-level Guitar Hero player. He’s so fun to watch play because the guitar is a better size for him than the rest of us. He really looks like a rockin’ dude when he plays! He and Rory, our little girl kitten, have become good buddies and she sleeps by his head at night.
  • The kittens are doing great and Ming has grown used to their eager presence. Tina took them to the vet to get them neutered last week. The boys were as rambunctious as ever that night but poor little Rory has been sluggish until today. Because she has stitches, she has to wear one of those funnel collars to keep her from ripping the stitches out. She spent much of the weekend on my lap trying to lick through that damn collar. Funny but sad. We’ll take it off Tuesday morning.
  • Yesterday morning we received our Oregon kicker check in the mail. The kicker law says that the government has to give back money when their income is more than they estimated. This results in a “surprise” tax refund every few years. The average kicker check this year was supposed to be around $600 and we did a little better than average.
  • The boys’ last day of school is on December 21st. Sometime soon after that, we’re hitting the road for Phoenix, Arizona, by way of San Francisco and Moreno Valley. We’re looking forward to the trip since the boys haven’t seen their cousins Wil and Xander in so long. The drive shouldn’t be bad since we’ve broken it up into three days with visits of friends and family on the way.
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Rob Kremer on parenting

Oregonian Rob Kremer usually writes about political issues on his blog, but yesterday he wrote this incredible piece about his daughter who recently graduated. One of the commenters there called it “lyrical” which I think is an apt description. He digresses from his ode briefly to ruminate on the nature of parenting:

Woody Allen once said that 90% of success in life is showing up each day. I think that is very true about parenting. Let’s face it – none of us really know what we are doing. We are just winging it, dealing with all the various issues, situations, conflicts and decisions by making day-to-day judgments about what seems right. Showing up – being there – doesn’t take any particular genius, but it just might be the most important part of parenting.

There isn’t any magic formula. Great parents can have kids who stray. Lousy parents can have great kids. Bottom line, we do what we can, and we are all hoping we get lucky.

But what all parent should know is the difference between mspy vs spyrix to avoid children find a way around typical filtering programs and internet monitoring.

Wow. I couldn’t agree more with that last part. Several years ago I asked my mom about the huge responsibility of parenting, particularly about how mistakes you might make could have a huge negative impact on your children’s lives. She said that although she realized that was true, she didn’t think about it much and didn’t regret any of the decisions that she made as a parent. To paraphrase her: “You can only do what you think is right and move on.”